Perfect Grilled Chicken Breasts, Outback Style

Forgive me if this seems elementary. My thirteen year old will be referencing this recipe.

1. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil.
2. Take chicken out of fridge. Rinse them off and pat dry with paper towels. Place chicken breasts on the foil lined sheet.
3. Wash your hands. 409 (i.e. clean with disinfectant) the counter and the sink. Wash your hands again. Put your cat in the bedroom so she doesn’t eat the chicken.
4. Pour a pile of charcoal into the grill. Squirt lighter fluid over briquettes and close lid.
5. Open lid. Replace cooking grate. Light the charcoal. Stay until flame dies down. Don’t put the lid down! Don’t close the vents!
6. 15 minutes later, check grill to make sure the charcoal is becoming ashy. Lift up the grate, spread the coals. Replace the grate and clean it with the grill brush.
7. Go back inside and mix together salt, pepper, cumin, oregano, paprika, chili powder, and cayenne pepper in a small bowl.
8. Melt 1/4 cup of butter in an 8×8 glass baking dish (about 33 seconds in the microwave).
9. Smear seasonings evenly over both sides of chicken.
10. Dip both sides of each breast in butter and place back on the foil lined tray.
11. Wash hands. Put butter dish into dishwasher. Wash hands again.
12. One half hour after lighting grill, take chicken, tongs, one paper towel, olive oil, and timer outside. All of the charcoal briquettes should be covered in ash and you shouldn’t be able to hold your hand over the grate for more than a couple of seconds.
13. First, you’ll need to oil the grate. Fold the paper towel into a square. Grab the square of paper towel with the tongs, and dip into the olive oil. Rub it on the cooking grate and repeat until the cooking area is covered.
14. Place chicken breasts on the grill, smooth side down. The rounded ends should be at 10 o’clock. The pointy ends should be at 4 0’clock. Set the timer for 3 minutes.
15. When the timer goes off, turn the chicken breasts so that the rounded sides point to 2 o’clock and the pointy ends are at 8. Set the timer for another 3 minutes.
16. When the timer goes off again, flip over all the breasts and cook for 6 minutes. Don’t close the lid.
17. Go inside with the tongs, the timer, the olive oil, and the tray.
18. Put the tongs in the dishwasher along with the olive oil bowl. Throw away the paper towel and the aluminum foil liner. Get a clean pair of tongs and go back outside with the timer and the foil-less sheet.
19. When the timer goes off, place chicken on the tray and close the grill lid and the vents.
20. Back inside, place pats of butter on chicken and allow them to rest 5- 10 minutes before serving.
21. Let your cat out of your room.

If you are butterflying the breasts, you’ll probably need to double the seasoning and the amount of butter. The times will be reduced to 2-2-4 instead of 3-3-6 minutes.

This is a fool-proof method for juicy, delicious chicken. Always make more than you think you’ll need!