Full English Breakfast

The main trick here is frying everything in the right order so that it’s all ready at the same time!

Start by arranging the sausages becomingly in a glass baking dish. Pop them in the oven at 375ºF. Check periodically for doneness, then reduce the oven heat to 180ºF to keep warm.

Now to the mushrooms: quarter them and place in a large frying pan with a generous pat of butter. Put the lid on, and let them simmer (they release a lot of liquid!) for about 20 minutes.

While the ‘shrooms are cooking, slice the tomatoes in half horizontally and place them cut side down in a small frying pan with another pat of butter. Cook until browned around the edges, then flip and do the other side. These release water too– it’s ok!

Once the mushrooms and tomatoes are done, decant them into glass bowls and put them in the oven at 180ºF (with the sausages) just to keep warm. Clean your frying pans (careful, they’re still hot!) and prepare for round 2!

Now, heat half the oil in a medium frying pan, halve your sliced bread along the diagonal, and get the hash browns. Fry bread and potatoes until brown and crispy on both sides, and add to the warming party in the oven.

Put the baked beans in a saucepan and warm them up.

Finally, in a big pan, heat the rest of the oil and fry up the eggs (with a bit of salt and pepper) and bacon.

Cogratulations! If all has gone to plan, you now have before you a Full English Breakfast! Eat it rapidly, with ketchup or HP sauce, and a cup of tea, for best results.

Note to vegetarians: you can replace the bacon and sausage with vegetarian ones, or omit entirely. I recommend veggie sausages, they’re yummy, but have yet to find a veggie bacon that tastes like anything other than slightly smoky cardboard. Ah, well…